<=All the Lovin'<= smileygal1616's Journal

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04:49pm 08/02/2005
  So either way I switched history classes because ms. rt just doesn't like me and is being unfair in my grades.. so im now at gilman in Mr. Schmick's class, and obviously its a harder class because of the amount of reading and all... last night i spent 4 hours on the homework... So either way I came into this harder class with one night to do this HUGE amount of reading (everybody else had a week), yet I get a 4/5 (80%) on my first quiz!!! That definately shows you something about Ms. RT, because I have only once before gotten above a C on anything in history in MY LIFE!
So that is a little better, just more work, but I dont mind if the results are good. I also got my braces on the last day of January, and I'm pretty self concious about them b/c its the 3rd set and i know how people think about braces... so the first day I started in the history class, I had just gotten braces like the day before... I dont mind them as much anymore, but it kinda stinks that nobody got to see me without them
I am still waiting to get my bone scan for my back.. thatll happen on the 17th of February but till then I dont have pain medicine, a brace, or anything- it hurts like hell. I am also really upset that I am unable to play squash, because its like this huge passion that I have and I haven't gone without squash this long before. I miss the game and putting the time and work into it... so Im going with the team to the Yale tournament and thatll be kinda hard to cope with but ill be there to support and help everyone else out
The only thing I have gonig for me is my recent achievement in art... I ended up completing 3 really strong pieces (oil paintings- self portrait) in the time that others are halfway done that same piece in the same size--> it was only intended to be one portrait but i finished early and did another (in one class!) so they still werent done so i decided to do another (1 class as well) so maybe keep an eye out for them at Roland Park-- self portraits (should b recognizable... hopefully haha)

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12:05pm 30/01/2005
mood: stressed
Well looking at my previous journal entry... it definately has not changed, except I dont really care about being lonely. I am working my ass off in school and not getting the results I want plus my luck isnt really helping. I worked really hard in squash, playing every single day since the last school season ended and getting a whole ton of lessons.. .once it started reflecting in my playing, I get injured. I sprained my back and stress fractured my L5 (vertebrae) and my tailbone... so I'm out for the rest of the season. Plus I have to get braces again even though I wore my retainer every night... the reason I have to do this is because my bone structure changed and well that sucks and they r putting the brackets on 2morrow.. yippee! My third set! Also I studied 2 weeks ahead of time for my history exam, that makes 3 weeks of studying and I really knew the facts... but I end up witha 60 which is complete bullshit and there is this whole controversy b/w the teacher and me and the study skills teacher and my advisor and parents-- not fun. I need to get out and party or something, because there is no way sitting at home doing more work will help anything... just makes me feel sad. So I am going to get a life and focus on what is doin well ... like art and math, why waste my time on history when I could be doing something that makes me happy? (Yea thats weird that I enjoy figuring math problems out, but I dont really care) So my luck kinda sucks right now and I tend to not be so optimistic or happy, actually pretty grumpy... so watever Im gonna go party sometime , relax for once, have fun. Im out , cya

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07:38pm 26/09/2004
mood: gloomy
Well, its been a long while since I've written in my journal. The reason I am writing today, is because I really need to. For a bit more than a week, I haven't been very happy... very lonely, full of sorrow. Ive been focused on working hard in school and in everything I do, and this has kept me from doing ne thing for myself. i DIDNT really do ne thing fun this summer.. worked my butt off... and now that the school year is here- im thinking of all the fun i could be having... i dont really even talk to nebody either so im just alone. this sucks

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Navy Squash Camp   
12:54pm 23/07/2004
mood: cheerful
I know it is really late to be talking about how camp went, but o well... deal with it! When we got to the Naval Academy, it was pretty early so we went to get something to eat... ofcourse we browsed the whole area before choosing a spot. we ended up choosing this nice independent italian pizza place... Guess who walks in... DAVE. it was pretty awkward for a while there, and i was sweating my pits off cause i didn't know wat to say and everything. My dad and his dad ended up talking a lot and i got a few words in there talking about the squash tournaments i played in... and then we left to go check in at the table... ofcourse they came there 30 seconds after we did. Okay--> so I got there pretty early, set up my room, and then went down to the squash courts. I hit around a bit with one of the counselors named John (he was really nice, but practically unnoticable cause of his quietness) and then sat down for a little bit... all of the guys who just met were playing ping pong... they were VERY good at it, might i say- Dave asked me if i wanted to play, and ofcourse i accepted and got crushed! that didn't matter.. but there were two other guys besides dave--> One named Allan and the other named Kyle. Allan was the best at ping pong there. crazy. Dave, Rob, Kyle, Allan, and i would lay around in Dave and Allan's room and listen to Lord of the Rings Soundtrack (we called it power napping).. after time the other guys would get bored of just laying there and talking, but Allan and I would stay in there, pass the candy, and talk... we are very similar people, but lets not get to that yet. O and one night I slept in Rob and Kyle's room cause i felt like it... i woke up early and went back into my room so I wouldnt get in trouble... hehehe. O and one night I almost got in trouble for being in the guys' room after 11... i hid under the desk though, so Matt Dawson didn't find me, but he found Kyle and sent him back to his room.. hehe... o and we tried to slip laxatives in The Slut's drink (very very annoyingn girl named Stephanie... grabbed Allan directly on his... u know wats) O and I was sick for the first couple days, cause (as i recently found out) there was a virus goign around my home... good timing, NOT! One day the swimming pool was closed and Allan and I wanted to go swimming really bad... we ended up dipping our feet in the fountain and talking
O and I got the award for best Yoga... and Dave and Allan's room was the cleanest so they got the award for Cleanest room... im not sure if that one is true though- lol. I just miss everybody, especially Allan, and I really wanna buy the Lord of the Rings Soundtrack so I can RELAX!

I also got offered a job as being a counselor at that camp next year, which would be great so I can stay up in anybody's room as long as I want... i will be younger than some of the campers, but who Cares?! It will be great!

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4th of JUly!!!   
03:45pm 04/07/2004
mood: excited
WEll, i figured it was time to update my live journal. 7 days until Navy Squash Camp and i am really siked! i just need to get some new Navy Sweat Pants, cause mine ripped REALLY BAD... i think it was cause of wear n tear, kinda like how sonia's yale pants turned out. i'm either gonna get those or the ... i dont know. ill just wait until next sunday. I think i sould pack right now or something... i wonder if i should take my usual sports tops and skirts or maybe shorts and shirts, and if i should take some casual clothing for when we have a night on the town, go sailing, and to the movies, and all taht great stuff!! o yea- and i can go swimming so i should take a bathing suit... maybe i should take my laptop too so i can get online when im there just in case i get bored and wanna write in my live journal or play games online

o yea-- Happy 4th of July everybody!!!!

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Fortune Cookie   
04:11pm 01/07/2004
mood: content
"Now is the time to try something new"

This has gotten me thinking a lot about a lot of different things. I will update later on this one.

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06:59pm 29/06/2004
mood: bouncy
How long has it been
Time seizes my soul

My heart lusts
It falls like sand

For the galaxy thriving in your eyes
You cannot stop the hourglass

When does it end
It cannot be broken

The only images are seen
Cannot drown in fear

In reflections of my tears
These insecurities

Orbit in your mind

May not it thrive in your soul
But exist in time

Smiles mask emotions
Of tiring devotions

This time I am true
Galaxies of firebound thoughts thrive

Yet nothing is false
Except your embryo of hidden emotions

Time is true to us
Be true to me

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zero is the hero   
06:11pm 28/06/2004
mood: anxious
Well, the other day I slept for 18 hours straight, and it was one of those fulfilling rests... like when you think and control what you are imagining. Ofcourse something specific was on my mind because I am going to squash camp soon and Dave is going to be there... i am just thinkin about all of the possible ways our communication is going to be like....

1. we wont talk at all
2. we hang out like old buds
3. we say a few words
4. maybe we become more than friends
5. or he doesn't like me at all and is mean to me
6. we hang out in a group but never talk to each other personally
7. he wont even look at me
8. ... there are more...

i mean- i think i am thinking too much about this but it is bugging me and i dont know wat to do cause he hasn't talked to me for a while and we are the only people returning to the camp from last year. maybe he is coming back this year and i am coming back this year because we were expecting eachother to come back? he could've not returned... there has got to be something benificial to him, b/c he said himself that he didn't really love squash that much ne more... im on a roll with this one. but then he stopped talking to me online. i imed him twice recently and he didnt respond. myabe i am being to critical of the situation

one more word:


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11:31pm 19/06/2004
mood: lonely
heyhey... summer is here and its GREAT.. well not really. all I have been doing the whole time is GMBC and squash--> no fun at all. I have not seen 1 single friend since graduation day. I have not had one second of fun since... basically- last summer. Here is my schedule for a normal summer day:

- Wake up at 6 or 6:30
- Get dressed and eat then leave at 7:15
- Arrive at GBMC early... around 7:40-7:45
- for 4 hours--> run around the unit making beds, passing out trays, filling water pitchers, collecting menus, collecting trays, and taking orders from grumpy patients
- get home between 12:40 and 1:30... with a headache and EXHAUSTED (every single day so far i have gotten a headache)
- get ready for squash and leave at 1:30 to be there at 2
- play squash for about 2 hours
- come home andwatch TLC or the food network until dinner is served
- watch tv and put up with sonia's bullshit for a few more hours
- go online or just put up an away message... for no specific reason
- fall asleep knowing that the next day will be just the same.. headache, boredom, and all the rest

The only things that keep me sane are the squash matches with Sam. For some reason I tend to laugh a lot more around him, mostly for no reason. Half of the time I dont really know what he is saying cause he's kinda quiet, but its just something about him that makes me laugh... i dont like him more than a friend though, there isn't that kind of "spark". I just know that he is the highlight of my summer b/c nobody else is there to make me laugh any more.

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Time Waster   
08:59pm 14/06/2004
mood: silly
right now I am waiting for it to be 9:00 pm so I can make free calls, which means that I am writing this journal to pass the time until then. Lets see- wat can I talk about?

Water is disgusting. It is tasteless and I hate it. I like it when i am all hot from practice and stuff, but Come ON! That stuff is nasty... sometimes it even tastes bitter! it makes you feel either sick or extremely hungry! How can such an important resource be just so disgusting?? And why do people buy them by the bottle if there is a WATER FOUNTAIN right there??? There isn't really a difference unless the water has rust in it (*cough* GILMAN's fountains!).. you know wat should be the NeW water?? SPRITE... yes... the soda. It tastes good and it feels good as it runs down your throat. YUM! It quenches your thirst unlike water! I have another drink to complain about: Gatorade... I mean COME ON! You have to drink water on the side of drinking the gatorade because it makes your throat all gooeey! That stuff is just colored sugar-water that coats the back of your throat. Its like asking for a heart attack in the middle of a match! I have a friend that has a gatorade everywhere she goes, and it is completely SICKENING! Its good to have once and a while to get away from that awful water, but geeezz... could it get worse??? You know wat is another good drink? A milkshake. Milkshakes are creamy cold dreamboats of Heaven. Could it get any better than that? I dont think it could, but there is also a good drink that I L-O-V-E --> Hot chocolate.. YUMm!!!!!! Its good for any time of the year, not just the winter! One thing that I completely hate is ALCOHOL... it tastes awful. I dont even understand how people can deal with it... that awful bitter taste is even left in your mouth even if you brush your dam teeth (i had an experience with taquila.. YUCK)

Well, times up! I hope u enjoyed that journal cause I certainly did.

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summer....... woohoo   
06:03pm 14/06/2004
mood: good
Summer is the big break and I'm enjoying it, but I have to start volunteering at GBMC Hospital tomorrow and I have to wake up at 6:30... guess wat time that is??? The same time I had to wake up for school!!! AAAAAAhhh!!! And I'm seriously scared b/c I hardly know how to get around the place... I dont even know how to get to the main lobby, and people are going to ask me how to get places. OOPS.

O- and my puppy got hurt last night!!! she jumped and landed wrong and was crying and couldn't walk.. poor baby! She just jammed her paw pretty bad, but it was so sad cause she couldnt walk and shes just soooo cute! O and the doctor went and gave her little kisses on her nose! it was so cute cause she kissed him right back, which is really surprising cause..well... hes the doctor. Heidi is such a baby and shes sleeping on the couch right now... CUTIE!

Well, I'm gonna go take a shower and I'll come back later and write another entry cause I'm bored cause its summer and there is nothing to do


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Glory Princess   
09:34am 14/06/2004
mood: awake
Close your eyes
Hold your head up high
Another day may come
Where you and I meet again

Sounds fill the room
And yet we have not met
Not yet
Not yet met again

Your eyes are made of cherries
Heart filled with cold

My Lovely
Glory Princess

I scream
For you
My ice cream

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06:10pm 11/06/2004
mood: amused
Summer is here and I dont know what to do with myself... the only productive thing I have done so far this summer is going and playing squash. Well maybe that isn't productive becauase all i am doing there is mostly talking to Sam (a BL guy that I play with every Monday Wednesday and Friday)and every now and then we fit ina few points. Lately we ahve been more productive though, but it was only because he was trying to distract the guy sitting behind the glass that was looking at me... and the only reason I knew he was looking at me was because Same told me. That boy behind the glass is such a perverted freak... wat an ass wipe (if u need clarification of this term, please let me know)... *chuckles*) The rest of the summer was filled with watching TV or playing games on the computer. Atleast community service at GBMC starts soon... this tuesday to be exact. i am kinda nervous and excited at the same time.. who knows. They are really strict there so I dont know how I am going to keep up with all of the rules...

Well I better go... ttyl!

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05:27pm 08/06/2004
mood: accomplished
well... today was also an interesting day... especially b/c my mom had a freak out on the way and made us late, but not late enough. I had to still make the stupid "grand" entrance... it was going well until I had to get on the bleachers... GREAT. I knew that my dress would not exactly let me move my leg onto that top bleacher so I decided to grab hold of the two other levels and jump... might i tell you that my high heels made a HUUUUGEEE *CLUMP* as i crashed down onto the level to which I was supposed to sit... GREEAAT... Let me tell you- I was EMBARRASSED out of my MIND. (supposedly my face went bright red and my eyes were almost tearing)... LUCKY ME... then later a bee tried to attack me and I screamed through reaction (during the ceremony... YIKES)...

Wel afterwards I went to the movies with my friends but now I am EXHAUSTED... i feel like it is time to go to bed but it is only 5:30! I feel like it is the equivalent to 3:00 in the morning if i haven't gotten to bed yet.

I had a pretty good day besides that fiasco...so i better wrap this up so I can RELAX.. Cause it is SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SUMMER! Summer! woohooooo! more milkshakes infront of the tv.. and now I have cable so I can watch Comedy Central and TLC! YES!

Love ya!!!!

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a crazy day   
09:21pm 07/06/2004
mood: crazy, but sick
Well, I woke up feeling sick still and I went to the bathroom and decided to soak my feet cause I was just really tense... soon enough i was throwing up in the toilet... GREAT. The day of the interview and class day... good start, eh?

I still went to the interview on a VERY empty stomach and a well... empty brain. It was practically floating to the ceiling. Despite my air-headedness and empty stomach I got the job at GBMC, which is great!! Then I went to the Health Center and got a TB test... Supposedly some people says it hurts like a mother and others say they dont even feel it... well I FELT IT.. I almost barfed again too

So we got to school EARLY.. school started at 11:30 today, but we got there at like 9:30... I got my english grades early and cleaned my locker and talked to Mr. Lieske (its so sad that he is leaving :*( ) I walked aroudn the school aimlessly looking for something interesting to do or somehwere just to sit down atleast... but all of the classrooms were locked... I then helped Sonia take the pictures in the commons down... and then got the rest of my grades... Mr. Henry (history) decided not to come in today, despite all of his students being anxious to get their grades back. Then I had to walk to Gilman to get my latin grade and got attacked by a damn Cicada...stupid worthless bug... it landed right in the middle of my forehead.

Class day was a interesting ceremony, except that Parilee Edison won almost all of the awards... HOG! LOL... um... yea... And I packed a lot of candy in a purse to eat during the ceremony but got in trouble.. OOPS... i was hungry cause i hadn't eaten all day long after wat happened that morning...
SOOOO-- either way.. i just got back from going to the mall with my friends (we were going graduation shopping for the seniors) and I feel really sick now because I hada Coco Loco from Gloria Jeans...hopefully I wont barf cause i hate throwing up... YUCK!

Well... Time to wrap this shit up... Luv ya and have a great summer if I dont talk to you shiznits!


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09:25pm 06/06/2004
mood: sick
I feel siicckk and I have to write this stupid and long application essay for volunteer work at GBMC hospital... its already 9:26 and I still haven't touched it, but I feel so sick I don't feel like it. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh... we also have class day and the last day of school 2morrow... I wonder how that is going to go... o yea i know:B-O-R-I-N-G...

wish me luck on my job interview and grade pass-backs!

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SUMMER IS HERE... theoretically....   
04:41pm 04/06/2004
mood: indescribable
HEYHEY GUYS!! exams are over... classes are over... no more teachers... no more smarties buggging you for your test grades... and no more bullshit tests!

you get to relax and drink milkshakes all summer, play squash a few times a week at ANY time of the day, hang out with friends WHENEVER, go to these awesome camps (Navy Squash Camp and East Coast Field Hockey), and O yea... TRIP TO HILTON HEAD!!!! Its my first trip in YEARS... Im SOOOOO Excited!!!!!!

So enjoy the summer because it is here!! All that is left is commencement and class day!!!!!

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06:25pm 01/06/2004
  Studying drives me nuts and so does this keyboard, because my dam spacebar isnt working at all on the left side.. so either way... Mr. Henry is a bitch and I dont like him, because he is a history teacher, just to be general... I hate history... I just hate the subject, so I hate the teachers that teach that subject, because no matter how hard i try in that subject...BOOM! They hit you with the same grade every time... like a C..HELLLLOOOOOO.... wake up and smell the shit. school sucks ass. history sucks ass.

Go Summer '04!!!
- Navy Squash Camp
- East Coast Field Hockey Camp
- Hilton Head

(by the way... i am skipping summer reading this time... who gives a shit about that shit and a half!) GO PROCRASTINATION OF SUMMER '04!!!!!!

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The PLAN   
10:45am 31/05/2004
mood: crazy
heyhey its like about 10:45 and Sonia is NOT awake!!!!!!!!! I really need her to wake up so I can turn a light on in my room and study for exams!!! So I am trying to make a lot of noise with my typing... hopefully it will work... i need to study study study or I am going to fail... SONIA HAS TO WAKE UP....

These are the things I am going to do to wake her up:

TYpe really loud
Call her cell phone many times
Shake her bed and yell "EARTHQUAKE!"
drop all of my books off my bed onto the floor, creating this HUGE banging sound

If all else fails, I'll splash a bucket of cold water ontop of her head.

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07:14pm 30/05/2004
mood: accomplished
Wackin some Cicadaassss.....
Sonia and I are goign Cicada hunting and murdering all of the Cicadas in our backyard... fun stuff... they are such annoying creatures and I dont feel bad about killing them or hurting htem, because they lack eyesight and they lack a nervous system.. who wouldve known?? THey are such useless creatures.

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